How I took a break and became a different person...

It's been about four months since my last post, and a lot has definitely happened.

It was May when I last posted and I was looking forward to Summer '16 in Puerto Rico.  I wanted to see my family, see my friends, and hook up with Rican guys.  I was hoping this time would be different.  Truth is, it's the same shit just a different locations.  I ended up hooking up with two guys and experienced a failed attempt with a third.  I don't think I want to go into details with those right now, but it'll come.

Four months.  Four months, casual hook ups, failed attempts at dating, threesome proposals, a swinger party, and a couple of beers later, and I'm kinda burned out.  I was going for the casual hook ups because I believed it's what was best for me.  I thought it was best because the casual meant that I wasn't going to have to deal with the drama... I wasn't going to have to deal with the possibility of a heart break or the complications that relationships bring into your life.  I soon realized that I was dealing with the exact same shit.  And yeah, I'm doing great by myself, but I'm a sexual being so I like the male companionship in my life.  Don't get me wrong, it's not a priority, but more of a cheat meal on the weekends... yummy banana splits!

So it's September and I'm dating.  I haven't had sex in more than a month, and I've survived.  I've been upfront with the guys that I'm seeing and I've told them that even though I don't want to jump into a relationship, I do want to give myself the opportunity of getting to know people.  I do want to date.  I do want to feel wanted.  I'm just done with the non essential, unfulfilling, casual hook ups.

And so I'm a different person, but I don't know how long it'll last.  And I'm okay with that, because that's just human nature.

Stay tuned for the "Things that I learned in Puerto Rico" post.  Pre-game is a thing.

-Angie

Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing penis?

Yes, sometimes the way to the penis is long and hazardous.  And you find yourself questioning, does it lead anywhere?  Hopefully, it does...  Pleasure, Satisfaction, Orgasms, Self-Fulfillment, and all that other shit that takes into account your well-being before that of others.  Because let’s face it, in many cases, especially those of women, we put everyone and everything before us; that includes, his penis, his orgasms, his satisfaction, his well-being, and all that other shit that does not take your needs into account.  And so let’s be honest: I had sex.  And I feel my life slowly but surely turning into a "Sex and the City-esque" kinda life... with lots of the sex components and none of the rest.  There are no fancy shoes, fancy clothes, awesome apartments in NYC, famous celebrities, failed marriages, etc.  It's just me, the guys, and the "romanticizing" of sex.

I've purposely placed "romanticizing" in quotation marks because I am not really romanticizing it.  I'll give you a hard and cold account of the events that led me to writing my post, with some exceptions, because that's what writers do.  And so I begin by confessing that I lied in my previous post.  I actually did have sex with the theater geek.  I also had sex with the caveman, but that was after I published it.  

Theater Geek:  He came over.  We had beers and wine.  We watched Netflix... and then we chilled.  And yeah, I mean the other "perverted" context of chilled.  He talked a lot about his life which seemed interesting.  He also talked a lot to the point where I couldn't get a word in.  After a couple of glasses of wine, I put my leg on his... He started rubbing my thighs, and I literally can't remember how one thing led to another, but he kissed me.  After making out for what seemed to be a solid minute, we fucked.  Unfortunately the details are a bit hazy since I was drunk on wine.

I know he fucked me on my couch.  I know he fucked me from behind.  I know he was on top of me at a certain point.  I know he used and abused my tender breasts... One week later I still have battle scars (bruises).  I also know he had a statuesque naked body which he pranced around like he had no care in the world.  I also--UNFORTUNATELY--noticed that he had ugly feet.  I'm petty for that... I KNOW.  It's been about two weeks and the communication between each other is at sending and receiving naked pictures on snapchat... It's mostly me on the receiving end.  The verdict:  it was good at its best and okay at its worst.  I've definitely have had worse.  Would I fuck him again?  Maybe.  

So, should I give up?  Or, Should I keep chasing penis?  Well, I fucked the caveman about 4 days after this one.  I guess I'm still chasing penis.  And that, my faithful readers, will be another post.  

-Angie