I guess it’s because most of my goodbyes are really “See you
later!” I don’t know… Yesterday I did some thinking. I figured I needed to get into what I
normally do… date. Date because rebounds
are what get me through heart break, or so I thought. But this time it’s different. The fact of the matter is that I can’t even
think about being with anyone who isn’t him.
It makes me sick. I know he said
not to wait for him, but I’m not waiting on him, I’m waiting on my heart to
heal. If anything I need dates with my
best friends… those are the ones that really dig deep and are willing to lay
you on an operating table and work with, and on you, little by little, putting
the pieces back together. They
understand that it’s difficult to do it on your own, so they’re willing to help
with their expertise. Because they’ve
been where I’ve been. Because they know me
better than my ex. Because they love me
more than he did. It’s ok to let them
in. It’s ok not to be ok. Even in the distance, they got you. I wish you knew how many people reached out
to me, and told me… I’ve been there: I
know what you’re feeling: It’ll get
better. Friends who have sent me
messages, videos, suggestions of books to read… friends who have read me and have
felt the pain that I feel. And I'm so grateful... so ridiculously grateful for the angels I know God has sent me, but I'm still saying goodbye, so it still hurts.
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