Monday, March 14, 2016

Saying goodbye still fucking sucks...

I guess it’s because most of my goodbyes are really “See you later!”  I don’t know…  Yesterday I did some thinking.  I figured I needed to get into what I normally do… date.  Date because rebounds are what get me through heart break, or so I thought.  But this time it’s different.  The fact of the matter is that I can’t even think about being with anyone who isn’t him.  It makes me sick.  I know he said not to wait for him, but I’m not waiting on him, I’m waiting on my heart to heal.  If anything I need dates with my best friends… those are the ones that really dig deep and are willing to lay you on an operating table and work with, and on you, little by little, putting the pieces back together.  They understand that it’s difficult to do it on your own, so they’re willing to help with their expertise.  Because they’ve been where I’ve been.  Because they know me better than my ex.  Because they love me more than he did.  It’s ok to let them in.  It’s ok not to be ok.  Even in the distance, they got you.  I wish you knew how many people reached out to me, and told me… I’ve been there:  I know what you’re feeling:  It’ll get better.  Friends who have sent me messages, videos, suggestions of books to read… friends who have read me and have felt the pain that I feel.  And I'm so grateful... so ridiculously grateful for the angels I know God has sent me, but I'm still saying goodbye, so it still hurts.  


-Angie

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