and every day it gets easier.
It's been hard to write these past weeks. I've had tough days. I think I kept dragging my emotions because I felt guilty. I kept asking the what if? ...trying to find a solution and trying to justify everything that had happened. I've finally accepted that I didn't lose my boyfriend: HE LOST ME. I've been feeling like shit without even realizing that when a person is so willing to let go of you it's because there is no love left, and that's okay. Actually, it's not okay, but there's really nothing I can do. How do I feel now? I don't want to waste my time investing all of myself into a relationship. Yes, I know not all men are the same, but I'm tired, and I need time to myself.
I've noticed that since my break up, I've connected with old friends, I've gotten closer to my current friends, and most importantly, I've become a better mom. A good friend told me: "Just go all out being you." And that's exactly what I plan on doing.
So, what are my plans? I'm cleaning more, reading more, enjoying music more, talking to friends more, exercising more, cuddling with my daughter more, eating healthy food more, doing my make up more... I'm just doing more of everything because I deserve to enjoy my life MORE.
Not that I wasn't enjoying life while in my relationship, but the thing about not properly healing after a break up and getting into a new relationship is that you
Which phase are you in when you feel numb? What is happening when you get fixes from casual relationships and acquaintances? What is happening when you're supposed to be crushed but you just don't care anymore? Am I done? Is this what it feels like when pain has overflown and everything has been spilled?
Today, April 27, 2016.
This has been part of my thought process for the past month. I thought about discarding it, but it's my heart, and it deserves to be heard. Since then, I've been making some changes and improvements in my life, but I'll keep the details for another post.
-Angie
